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Cats are cute. The tonnes of videos you keep seeing on TikTok is proof of that. So now you feel like you want one. But are you ready for it?
Before you dive headfirst into a life of 3am zoomies, mysterious hairballs, and being ignored by something you feed daily, here’s the ultimate (and slightly ridiculous) readiness test.
@umifatinamirah Aku syak kakak depa yang keluar dari blkg sofa tu yang tolak #fypシ゚ #fyp #fypppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp ♬ Funny – Gold-Tiger
This test was crafted by our TRP staff who is the “bibik” to about 40 cats (and counting). Safe to say she knows cats very well that sometimes we think she’s actually turning into one.
So no boring checklists here — this is the absurd, honest, real-talk simulation of life with a feline overlord. Ready to see if you’re cut out for the whiskered whirlwind? Let’s get weird.
#1 The “Guni Beras” Challenge
An adult cat would generally weigh upwards of four kilogrammes.
A healthy cat that is between one and two years old can weigh 5-6 kilogrammes.
One thing about indoor cats is that they’re very particular about breakfast (and brunch, lunch, tea, snack time, dinner, supper).
If you have a spouse or a housemate, get them to place a 5kg bag of rice on your face in the morning, while you’re still in dreamland.
That’s how it will be when you have a cat. Your alarm has yet to go off but the furball’s already hungry. They’ll get in your face or lie down on your stomach, either to check if you’re still alive or to tell you it’s makan time.
#2 The 3AM Chaos Challenge
Technology is your best friend in this challenge. Set your devices to blast your speaker at 3am with some head-banging rock music.
What’s the point?
Cats sleep a lot but they can also be very active after midnight. So you’ll have to be prepared to be roused from your slumber by the sounds of things crashing or breaking.
Not all cats are agents of chaos but it helps if you prepare yourself mentally for this.
#3 The Television Block Challenge
Get a remote controlled toy that’s about the size of a cat and put it in front of your television.
While you’re watching your favourite show, move the toy left and right, allowing it to block and unblock your view of the bottom part of the screen where the subtitles are.
Unless your television is hanging on the wall, cats love to perch on the cabinet in front of the big screen. Either they enjoy being that close to the cast of Friends or they just want to remind you that you have a cat so why the heck are you wasting time watching shows when you can play with them instead.
#4 The Itchy And Scratchy Challenge
Take a fork and scratch the back of your sofa. How does that make you feel?
See the line it leaves? The slight tear of the leather or fabric? Are you sad about it? Impervious to it?
These are the feelings you’d have to sort through and the scratch test is a good way to know if you’re a cat person or a my-belongings-are-my-life person.
You can also pour water on your bed or carpet and see how you feel about things getting wet. Cats wouldn’t normally pee on furniture if they have a good, accessible potty box but just how it is with human babies, accidents can still happen.
Take a look around your house and find an item you like. It could be that ceramic souvenir you bought in Paris and adore so much. Knock it off the cabinet. Let it break. Feel good?
#5 The Wear-It-Hairy Challenge
Take a black t-shirt and rub a wool sweater on it. That lint is how your future with a cat will be. Hairy.
Now put the shirt on and go about your day. Does it bother you? Do you constantly feel the need to run a lint roller over yourself?
Or do you feel happy, and proud of yourself that you’re carrying a few hundred of your cat’s hair everywhere you go?
Don’t despair
These challenges may sound extreme but cats are a huge responsibility. However, the most important thing in adopting is what you truly feel in your heart.
If your heart wants to give a stray a forever home, go with it. As the saying goes, love will find a way.
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